Speaking of which just bought myself some killer red stilletoes for the gosh darn heck of it. The doctor setting my ankle in plaster couldn’t keep his eyes off me. Got a free candle from the hospital chapel! 10 out of 10 - delicious!
Totally bummed but time to find me a true sole mate. Should I look on my backside or the bottom of my shoe?
Chewing the end of my pencil, thinking what to post. Do beavers like chewing pencils too? Heyyyyy! It’s nearly Valentine’s Day. Just broke up with Scabbula (wife). Didn’t see eye to eye on taxidermy methods.
Eat zebra in soy sauce and dip it in yogurt noodles and leave it for 2 years then add some spider eggs beat with a hammer and feed it to your stuffed duck at 3am (this will bring you good luck for the next 5 minutes) You are welcome 🤗
Omg if you keep marshmallows in your cheeks you look up to 12.587 years younger🧴🧴👶🍼👶🍒
Novggoifljfjdydyfjvhutuejzdmyfhfkgippttpgupfuoufoufghvvouvuohomghihihiijk. Did you find the secret message?
Who thinks punctuation is an evil spirit hoo wonts yoo to add dots to yor riting question mark
Omg it’s so cold outside that my bingo bongos have frozen 🥶 and my whole stock of tubby custard has frozen and you know I like my tubby custard room temperature….. eh oh
Wats better no filter or a filter Without filter. With filter.
Oh no guys we have a fake me they have the same name as me so watch out 😡😤😠👿😖😾🗯️🤬but my mama papa papa mama said I’m unique🤓
My pronouns are stinky old bag and thing. I’m proud 🥹 🥲.
Which do you prefer? Fluff from the tumble dryer or from your belly button?
High guys so I love to were furr lined swimming trunks 🩲 💈💈🎀 wen it’s 🥶 cold 🥶 cold 🥶 cold 🥶
Omg hi toda I Hab brekfust anb ges wut i got A cd ov annie !! i luv D part wen she sings a song lice anb nuw luk at me im tis opurtuniy !!!!!! i luv tat moovee
Omg my new pet is soooo cute he also smells really nice 👌 he loves doing hand stands to but he smells sooo good 👍
OMG just got this gorgeous dress for my soon to be wife it’s for our wedding 👵🏻👰♀️👵🏻👰♀️👵🏻👰♀️👵🏻👰♀️👵🏻👰♀️
Omg looking for a good recipe for roast peacock. No, wait, I mean beetroot.
YO0o OMG BRUH the new Fortnite chapter is LIT i herd my niece saying this stuff like LIT, YO0o, BRUH and NO0o NOT BOB!!!!!? so I thought I should try 😏😈🙄😎😎😎😎😎😎
🪄✨I’m going to show you how to make ✨ greenies✨ their like brownies but not first add some dried bogies into a bowl then add some wet bogies in the bowl shape it into a pan and bake for 3mins enjoy 😉!✨. Disclaimer do not actually do this!
OMG the last 4 seconds have been the most challenging of my life I had to say the whole alphabet in front of my my knitting club!😬🔤😓😓😩😔
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