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“@Hilarious_Idiot: When you Poop in your dreams.. You poop for real..” @aprilllm
“@comedytexts: “beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep like 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan” @aprilllm
What type of grades did Hitler get in school? Not C's Yes I'm single
Call my girlfriend.. Call my girlfrien.. Call oy girly.. Call of gurty.. Call of duty.
“@TheFactsBook: People who stay up later at night are likely to be more intelligent than those who go to bed early.” @aprilllm
“@PlCKUPLINES: Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and baby, I'm lost at sea.” @aprilllm
“@PlCKUPLINES: Are those space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.” @aprilllm
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Real friends don't talk shit when you're not around.
My ex texted me like, "You can delete my #, Idgaf no more." I texted back like, "Who this?"
Couple beers before bed then up early and back at... then a much needed meat cutters weekend #sunday-Monday off #cantwait
"This movie isn't even scary!" "Based on a true story." "Oh sh!t!"
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- 5. Alito N/A
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