Senile Dennis Miller
@DM_rant
I don't mean to get off on a rant her put if Vladimir Putin's my underwear then I don't wanna be applesauce, ok chief?!
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They got me taking more pills than an Inuit volleyball coach giving a root canal to Marlon Brando's prized Siberian Husky
I don’t mean to offend anyones tree-hugger liberal koombaya sensibilities but everything tastes like copper and it’s 1987, okay-babe?
I believe it was the Duke of Castleberry, in reaction to a Peloponnesian treaties on long term ground campaigns, who remarked “Hey Mertaw, I got the Sids real bad, come and give me a squeegee!”
I don’t think I’m mincing words when I say Trump’s 2024 campaign is gonna make Babe look like Babe 2: Pig in The City, okay babe?
Every one of these mask wearers remind me of Popeye Doyle trying to tell the bubble mint twins the plot to star wars. “Hey slap dick, read the fuckin room okay?”
We made a fucking book. “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years” is now available for pre-order. You can learn more about this definitive history of punk and hardcore AND win merch by visiting thehardtimes.net/book
Admit it, the only reason you watch NFL in the first place is because every now and then there's a car crash.
It's 2018 and it is completely tasteless for Michelle to insult the appearance of Sarah Sanders, or of ANY man for that matter!
Shame on you @michelleisawolf for insulting @PressSec on their looks. Sarah Sanders is a beautiful man!
Michelle Wolfe wrote Bonfire of the Vanities and I forget what we're mad at but fuck you asshole!
You ask me it's pretty tasteless to be telling any jokes at a white house correspondents memorial diner given the sacrifice they made for our country but that's just one man's opinion
Sorry for the delay folks I had to really buckle down and do my research. Michelle Wolf's hair is so curly I wanna fry it up and eat it with a burger and a nice big glass of ketchup!
Michelle Wolf Blitzer is the host of The Situation room but you know what I think is a messed up situation? Making jokes about our president! How's that for Law & Order chief?! #kingofrefferences #wheredoicomeupwiththisstuff? #newrules #itastepennies
Michelle Wolf's correspondents diner set was about as funny as the episode of Happy Days where Archie Bunker stomps a cat to death in a sex magic ritual, ok babe?
You ask me congress should take a queue from the movie The Sandlot: You can't find a dead body in the woods without sticking your dick in some Spaceball pie, capiche Morpheus?
I haven't been this confused since Kaiser Sose turned out to be Charlie Chaplin at the end of that Dodgers game!
Sound as fuck advice from my homegirl @DLoesch thehardtimes.net/hardstyle/need…
I don't mean to get off on a rant here folks, but if the gun is the only thing that survives a mass shooting then why not just build the school out of a giant fucking gun, ok babe?
What ever happened to the times where 'make America great again' meant not spilling chalupa sauce all over your cargo shorts while the noid gave you a free tugger behind the methadone clinic?
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