Dad's Lunchbox Notes
@DadsNotes
Making lunch more fun. Father of three.
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Fun Fact: Every kid over the age of 5 will say the words, “I need a white elephant gift for tomorrow!” at some point this week.
If you died suddenly and I knew about a haunted pet cemetery that brought people back to life I would totally bury you there!
I’m sorry you have a fever of 102 today, but thanks for getting me out of all my meetings!
The keyless ignition on our new van is cool, but now what am I supposed to do when the inside of my ear itches?!
#DST is this Saturday! You know what that means?! You have to do an hour of back flips in order to help the farmers. I’ll wake you up at 2am!
I’m glad you got an A on your history test. I told you watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure would be worth it!
I’m glad you won sophomore homecoming princess, but please stop calling your family members peasants.
Clicking “I have read and agree with the terms of service” feels like less of a lie than signing my child’s homework claiming that I’ve proofread it.
Haha! Same! Except I’m a Dad and I just do it to annoy my kids!
You know you're a mom who has school lunch PTSD when you keep referring to the new kids movie as Uncrustables rather than Incredibles.
Behave at school today or tomorrow your PB&J will be made with end pieces of bread. #ButtBread
What kind of horrible parent hopes for rain so tonight's sports are cancelled??? This one.
Your mom and I are talking about riding motorcycles to Mexico when you guys all go away to college, which sounds pretty cool. So if you wanted to try and skip a few grades I would support you!
For years I’ve been cutting off your crusts, chopping it up, mixing it with PB and making your sandwiches with it! YOU’VE BEEN EATING THE CRUST THE WHOLE TIME!! Hahahahaha Love Dad
Confession... there isn’t really a new musical titled “The 80’s”. But it was the only way I could get you to let me listen to the classic rock station.
If the other kids start bragging about their dads you can tell them... “One time, my dad didn’t eat any after dinner snacks all evening!” True story!
A math test without using a calculator makes me think your math teacher is some sort of crazy doomsday prepper.
Hey Dad will you buy me this music off iTunes? No! It’s Christmas music. Ok.
I’m not sure what book you’re reading, but it doesn’t sound appropriate for 3rd grade!
I know you’ve been practicing, but I’m not sure that singing Weezer’s “We Are All on Drugs” is right for the Red Ribbon Week talent show.
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