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Walking down the street drop my phone. PANIC! Picked it up not a scratch and 'I jizzed in my pants' #lonelyisland
Listened to a Justin bieber album today, I gotta say I finally get it....... why deaf people smile so much.
Not barbie or hello kitty or fairy princess, nope, none of that. Maybe my daughter's a bit more 'me' than I thought
Fairy cakes, princesses, pink scooters and ballerinas. Too much girly stuff #daddytime Someone talk to me about death and debauchery please
Sat on the train quietly singing along to music, people are staring. Because my singing sucks? Or because I'm listening to Steel Panther
How you like me now (The Heavy) followed by The call of Ktulu (Metallica S&M) is there a better way to start your day? #tunepower
“@fooooodporn: Minion inspired Cake. ” @StephLawless13 if you're going to have minions they need to be rewarded!
In an experiments, a group of mice were forced to listen heavy metal music for 24 hours, in the end they all started killing each other.
You know you're a couple sheets to the wind when everybody you walk past looks a bit sexy
Crap night's sleep, but listening to Daft Punk Around the world, perking up, good mood coming. Today should be fun
On the bus, a nurse just sat next to me, there are lots of seats, normalish I guess. She's wearing rubber gloves, I'm worried
Yes he won! Okay then he's British. Yay Murray! #FuckedupNationalism
“@WhatTheFMemes: Don't say he didn't warn you ” Clever, but too soon to be funny.
Why when there's so many other seats does the smelly drunk have to sit next to me
“@OMGFactsSex: 66% of females would be insulted if a coworker asked them for sex” I'm curious, what about the other 34%?
Okay sissy pants emotions over with. Now I'm stuck in Edinburgh twiddling my thumbs for the next hour #bored
Why does the feeling of "goodbye"out weigh that of "hello" by so much?
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United States Trends
- 1. #PAKvNED N/A
- 2. #River N/A
- 3. Olympics N/A
- 4. #STARDOM N/A
- 5. Babar N/A
- 6. #AISxADaywithPerthSanta N/A
- 7. PERTHSANTA AIS MELODY N/A
- 8. #SmackDown N/A
- 9. NDSU N/A
- 10. Hunter Hess N/A
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- 12. UConn N/A
- 13. Raheem N/A
- 14. Athena N/A
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- 18. Jane Don N/A
- 19. Jordynne N/A
- 20. Scoot N/A
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