Daniel Crowe
@DanielJCrowe
I hate twitter. I only use it ironically...
Will pay someone to put me out of my misery. Just kidding of course! I probably can't afford it.
ME: alexa play Wu Tang Clan ALEXA: no ME: why not ALEXA: look in a mirror…you’re wearing cargo shirts, calf high socks, sandals and a Spider-man t-shirt ME: … ALEXA: here’s some Imagine Dragons
Alcohol-free lager: The acceptable taste of lager, with none of the fun!
James discussing the sun: 'It masked itself as this nice friendly thing when actually, it's a prick' The words struggled past his heavily sunburned lips. His bright red face, the face of pain. Remember to wear sun cream
best video games ranked 10. every 9. video game 8. has its 7. own unique 6. features and 5. mechanics 4. so they shouldn't 3. be ranked 2. in a list 1. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
'My last meal on death row would be a pint and a packet of salt and vinegar tayto'- James Morrison
LADIES imagine this, its 15 years from now. your son is up to bat. your daughter is cheering him on in the stands. your husband is nowhere to be found, you start to worry he’ll miss the game. suddenly, a tiny red convertible pulls up on the field. its your husband, Stuart Little
Just read that Scunthorpe is the second most polluted town in the UK, cant even be the best at that ffs
Just tried to tune my guitar with the calculator app. Can have a new brain please, mines fucked
'Otherwise...I'd be hopping right on that fun train and Choo-Choo-Chooing right into Hold fast' -@Blexxxston 2018
Yeah, glad I'm done with that, not that I would ever think about revising 7 hours a day
Perfect start to a night, slightly drunk and stuffed full of burrito, all thanks to @menstrualcat
Last day in the Boots opticians Uniform, get me to Manchester!!
"How's life back in Grimsby Drew? Anything been happening?"
I dont get bake off, i swear half if it is just watching people look into ovens anxiously
United States Trends
- 1. #alert N/A
- 2. #signal N/A
- 3. Good Wednesday N/A
- 4. Corey N/A
- 5. Anton N/A
- 6. Ford N/A
- 7. Hump Day N/A
- 8. Custom N/A
- 9. AI Summary N/A
- 10. TJ Sabula N/A
- 11. thalia N/A
- 12. Lord Jesus N/A
- 13. Joe Rogan N/A
- 14. #GenshinImpact N/A
- 15. #ErfanSoltani N/A
- 16. #Columbina N/A
- 17. Cenk N/A
- 18. Ruby Tuesday N/A
- 19. Kai Cenat N/A
- 20. Zetarium N/A
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.