DecentHumanKen's profile picture. I NEVER text and drive unless I'm drunk.

Ken MacLaughlin

@DecentHumanKen

I NEVER text and drive unless I'm drunk.

Przypięty

Restaurant servers are making a movie! weresodeadmovie.com/crowdfunding


What's a #Ravens receiver's favorite part of a song? The drop. #nfl


Conservatives: “Universities are bastions for liberal propaganda and you’re an idiot if you go into debt over one.” Conservatives when it comes to paying young black men what they’re worth: “Just be grateful for your university education.”


Real estate developers should be forced to pay for all deer-related crashes 👍🏻


“Sorry, my boss doesn’t allow us to accept tips.” “Tell your boss I said the customer is always right.” #alwaystip


The world is 5 billion years old. We’re all pretty young.


"We we're not allowed to take tips." "Well, I'm not allowed to take tips back, so ..." #alwaystip


"This fish smells good." -No One Ever It either smells bad or not at all.


There's literally only one logical reason to oppose gay and trans rights and that's if it becomes too common and visible you might, just might, realize you're gay or trans too. 🫣 #HappyPride #PrideMonth


Sometimes I’ll be trying to sleep, and my leg will fall asleep and I’ll be like “we’ll, aren’t you f*cling special?!l


Why wasn’t there a tik tok trend of people running up to Eddie Vedder and calling him daughter?


10 years ago, you didn't know what a pronoun was. You thought it might be short for "proper noun." Now you turn into the grammar police if somebody wants to change theirs. #TransRightsAreHumanRights


If the NFL is scripted I guess the Atlanta Falcons are crisis actors? #nfl #scriptednfl


It always felt off that Jack's doctor in Fight Club refused to prescribe him sleep meds, especially considering the cynical look the film took toward capitalism.


Call me crazy but Serena Williams want quite the actor Al Pacino is. #SuperBowlLVII #remmymartin


#MarriedLife is like sex on the 4th Friday of every month. Oral on the 5th Friday. Anal on the 6th.


They say lift with your knees but my knees hurt too. #thisis40


I just took off my headphones and hat to take off my hoodie. Then I put my hat back on and wondered why I couldn’t hear music.


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