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Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!
Gonna be in Nashville all weekend and all I can think about is the possibility of overdosing on fried chicken
Imma just start adding “not circumcised” to my dating profiles so none of u bitches act surprised when u see an anteater come out my zipper hole
Client: what are you drinking? Me: pumpkin spice cold brew Client: want me to repeat my question so you can respond with something less gay?
Just casually found $740 in my underwear drawer from fuck knows when
If you ever plan on publishing anything in the newspaper, DO NOT do it through @Chicago_Reader . Just got screwed out of 100 bucks.
Is it a coincidence that the Toronto raptors won exactly a year after @Drake dropped the best music video of all time? I think not. #Degrassi
Have you ever been beaten up for being straight? Ask any homosexual if they have been beaten or accosted up just because of their sexual preference. This is a hardship you will never know, because you’ve only been beaten up for being a fucking dork.
Just spent 22 dollars on a reusable cup at stupid Starbucks because I saw a video of a straw getting pulled out of a sea turtles nose and almost started crying.
Can’t tell if the mirrors in stores are all different or if I have body dysmorphia
United States Trends
- 1. El Paso N/A
- 2. Good Wednesday N/A
- 3. The FAA N/A
- 4. Hump Day N/A
- 5. Fort Bliss N/A
- 6. Our Lady of Lourdes N/A
- 7. And God N/A
- 8. #njnbg N/A
- 9. Thomas Frank N/A
- 10. Rio Rico N/A
- 11. Tumbler Ridge N/A
- 12. Wemby N/A
- 13. British Columbia N/A
- 14. #njpw N/A
- 15. Carlos Palazuelos N/A
- 16. Brentford N/A
- 17. Spring Festival N/A
- 18. Mizuki N/A
- 19. Tucson N/A
- 20. Bronny N/A
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