Enabler
@DeepDogThoughts
What my dog thinks when he actually stops and thinks about things.
Tal vez te guste
That egg-salad sandwich you "lost" last year? Yeah, I ate it when you turned to look at the hair on your back in the mirror...
I know, I know, I’m supposed to lift my leg when I pee, but sometimes the weight of the world just stops me...
The phrase “he’s an underdog” isn’t all that inspiring to me. In fact, it’s depressing...
I’ll protect you, unless I see guy carrying something weird in his hand, like a wolverine or a cone of shame. Then you’re on your own. #dogs
Don’t think for a minute I’m chasing a Frisbee. Only college dudes who can’t get dates do that crap...
You can lead me to toilet water, but you can’t make me—oh, actually, yeah, you CAN make me drink...
"LOL Cats" is and always has been retarded. I'm not backing off this.
I only want to lick you if you smell like a Slim Jim, and even then it’s not that great for me.
And I do not like to be reminded of the fact that squirrels can bury a nut and find it 2 week later...
And I do not like to be reminded of the fact that squirrels don’t need grooming...
And I do not like to be reminded of the fact that squirrels can hump madly...
Squirrels aren’t the anti-christ; they’re my failures mocking me and flitting from branches and humping madly.
Chewing the cherished is a nuisance; destroying the cherished makes up for my neutering.
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