Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet
@Design_Assassin
Cheeky Lass w a side of sass. Pure heart, Dirty mind. 89% Humor. Creative | Wordsmith. ⅔ Ninja. Typo 👑 Kind. 🎶 Bites lovingly. In 🖤🥹
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Adulthood is just repetitively saying “...But after this week, things will finally slow down a little” to people, until you either retire or die.
Have you considered the therapeutic benefits of biting my ass?
The fucking algorithm isn't fucking algorithming
I consumed too much sugar this morning and needed something salty so I logged into Twitter.
I would have preferred to stay in bed with snacks today.
oh to be aloof and nonchalant but unfortunately I’m too loof and too chalant
Them: your days are numbered Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass
Photograph of a dragonfly covered in morning dew.
Some people are like the human version of discount candy corn.
Wishing those with peanut allergies a very successful No Nut November
you don’t write love; you live it until the words find you.
My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian
i am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star and that’s exactly why i’m the way i am
I'm sorry for setting your weird friend on fire, but in my defense you did tell me to match your freak.
If you find a dead magician, it’s customary in their culture to say “ta-da”
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