Design_Assassin's profile picture. Cheeky Lass w a side of sass. Pure heart, Dirty mind. 89% Humor. Creative | Wordsmith. ⅔ Ninja. Typo 👑 Kind. 🎶 Bites lovingly. In 🖤🥹

Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet

@Design_Assassin

Cheeky Lass w a side of sass. Pure heart, Dirty mind. 89% Humor. Creative | Wordsmith. ⅔ Ninja. Typo 👑 Kind. 🎶 Bites lovingly. In 🖤🥹

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Adulthood is just repetitively saying “...But after this week, things will finally slow down a little” to people, until you either retire or die.


Have you considered the therapeutic benefits of biting my ass?


Cut yourself some slack today.


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

The fucking algorithm isn't fucking algorithming


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

I consumed too much sugar this morning and needed something salty so I logged into Twitter.


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

I would have preferred to stay in bed with snacks today.


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

oh to be aloof and nonchalant but unfortunately I’m too loof and too chalant


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

Them: your days are numbered Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

Photograph of a dragonfly covered in morning dew.

TheFigen_'s tweet image. Photograph of a dragonfly covered in morning dew.

Some people are like the human version of discount candy corn.


Wishing those with peanut allergies a very successful No Nut November


National Nachos Day? I'm in!

Design_Assassin's tweet image. National Nachos Day? I'm in!

Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

you don’t write love; you live it until the words find you.


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

i am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star and that’s exactly why i’m the way i am


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

I'm sorry for setting your weird friend on fire, but in my defense you did tell me to match your freak.


Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet reposted

If you find a dead magician, it’s customary in their culture to say “ta-da”


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