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Dallas Marable

@Dmarable

After smoking for 11 years, I find great pleasure in announcing that on this day, Jan. 7th, 2023, I have gone without nicotine for one whole year.


Dad says I don't have to worry about having kids because there's already a grandson to carry on the family name - *phew*


New favorite drunk text

Dmarable's tweet image. New favorite drunk text

One too many times someone has braided my hair and I didn't get their number


Dallas Marable reposted

How is there just the one song about how someone had a good day?


Excuse me officer aren't you a little too old to be texting and driving?


I bet it was this guy's wehner

Dmarable's tweet image. I bet it was this guy's wehner

Yeah, and we STILL didn't make it to the train on time

I love dreams because in them your friend can be telling you to hurry up for some reason and you're like well this baby in my hands must be mine and my feet are in box fans made of lemon so you're gonna have to wait but I understand your hurry because this is not strange at all



"Every noon at twelve"


I constantly look like Forrest Gump early on in his run.


"All you have to do is spell your fucking name!"


"Not the bees!" - me and also Nick Cage at some point


A vacuum cleaner scared me so I did finger guns


My "Memelords Only" GroupMe is giving me the best play by play of the #MayweathervMcgregor fight


Someone sent me the wrong glasses for the #SolarEclipse


Found a fidget spinner at work today so life's pretty dope right now


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