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I guess I’ll never be able to lie to myself again about all the shit I would do if I just had the time.
Chopping at the legs will get you punched in the face.
Yo is the dude who hit the parking meter okay?
@PatrickMahomes throwing the greatest post route of his career at the parade today #ChiefsChampionshipParade
Hey! I’m Bruce Cassidy and YOU’RE watching Disney Channel!
People often think they’re breathing oxygen, but are actually breathing nitrogen (78%) with a side serving of oxygen (21%) in argon sauce (1%), spiced up with CO2, H2O & a dash of neon & krypton (etc.)
God has a plan for me and I’m just trusting the process
This lunch table meme is the worst meme in the history of memes because 1) they all suck, 2) they take work to consume, 3) there’s no payoff. Thanks for coming to my TED talk
Hockey fans who yell “SHOOT!” when their team is on the power play.
Area 51 guards body cam footage during the raid 🤣
Still thinking about how we live in a world where an NHL prospect "grew up watching Jack Eichel" & we're all gonna die soon
Hmmm doesn't appear this official doctor's handbook says anything about not being able to play with a broken jaw
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