The Dumped Man's Code
@DumpedMansCode
The Dumped Man's Code | No-bullshit breakup recovery advice for men | Weekly Substack: @thedumpedmanscode
If the shower goes cold, somebody else is using the water.
You're not a real man until you've been through real heartbreak
I̶'̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ I don't want a relationship r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ with you
'Closure' is a lie. Nobody gets closure. Accept the uncertainty and move on.
Going through a break up is one of the best opportunities you'll ever have to improve your life. Doesn't mean it wont hurt.
She left you because she lost respect for you. Anything else is bullshit.
"I just need closure." No you don't. You need her to explain why she left so you can argue with each point like you're a lawyer who just discovered new evidence. "But your Honor, Exhibit A clearly shows I DID listen when she talked about her day." Stop it.
You think you're "giving her space." She thinks you're finally leaving her alone. There's a difference.
Her: "Let's stay friends" Translation: "I want to keep you emotionally available while I move on, so I don't feel guilty, and you can watch me date other people." Friendship isn't the consolation prize. It's the participation trophy for losers. Move on.
Her friends and family aren't neutral judges. They're her legal team. You're not walking into a courtroom where you can make your case. You're walking onto the plains of the Serengeti where hyenas are waiting to eat your face. Stop trying to explain yourself to predators.
She told you she "needs space to work on herself." Translation: She needs space... (from you) You're doing no contact because you think it'll make her miss you. She's doing no contact because you're exhausting. Welcome to The Dumped Man's Code.
Things no one tells you about breakups: You'll become a private investigator you never wanted to be. You'll refresh her Instagram more than your bank account. You'll draft 47 texts you'll never send. And you'll hate yourself for all of it. Welcome to hell.
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