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EdLuve

@EdLuve

Active Shooter at Los Angeles Air Force Base.


Need allergy meds! Pollen count too high! Nose going to explode!


So what did you do for Easter? I fucked like a rabbit!


Fucking elevator reeks of cheap weed.


GOD DAMN! Hurts to get hit in the mouth wit a pubic bone. She could've chipped my tooth. Uncontrollable orgasms can suck. #pain&pleasure


4hrs of hardcore fucking feels great! That is until two days later. Can anyone say "delayed onset muscle soreness"? #InPain


Why is there an Asian guy shaving in the restroom at the office!? Dude you don't even have facial hair!!!


Hoping everyone in Hawaii gets to safe ground. #TSUNAMI


Taking a crap at work. Guy opened the door and doesn't even walk in before turning around to avoid the smell. #meatballs


If someone calls you "My Friend" they are not your friend and you are about to get fucked in the ass.


Why is Gary Johnson not at the #debates ? We are not a 2 party system!


Why do motel elevators always smell like swamp ass.


I really hate my family sometimes.


Happy Mother Fucker Day. Thanks Dad for fucking my mother!


I don't get ladies of the night! You'll stick your tongue up my ass, but not give me a kiss goodbye because it's too personal?!?


My iPhone really wants me to smoke pot. Weezer - Hash Pipe followed by Offspring - Mota up next Sublime - Smoke Two Joints.


I'm a modern day charlatan and paladin, an amateur psychiatrist and a SemiPro photographer. Oh and I actually get paid to fix computers.


Good nights slumber is what is right in front of me. #goodnite


I do not know the real you enough to love you. For now I just lust after you.


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