"Has anyone had to go to meetings for being too Hooked on Phonics?"
"I guess she likes them old and Czech." "And I like them young and Asian."
"Rush Limbaugh looks like that one guy." "Kristin Stewart?"
"If you looked like Richard Simmons you would probably garner a lot of unwanted attention." "Yeah! People would leave me alone."
There's a dog in our office so all I hear is "oooo who's a good doggy" in that weird voice people use when they talk to animals & babies.
"Why isn't it 5 o'clock yet? I should be able to sue Father Time for being a dickhole."
"If I ever win the lottery I'm going to start throwing bricks thru things and apologizing with cash."
"What about you?" "Black Verticle Wheelies O'Christ."
"If you could change you name to anything you want, what would it be?" "GhostCrunch Bolts O'Lightning."
"Why DON'T we have a mini golf course set up in here?"
"What about a shirt that says 'We Got Hose' with a hose on it?" "Hoes wearin' hose!" "We're going to be rich."
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