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What the backs of my legs look like is none of my business. That ain’t got nothin to do with me, I can’t even see them.
I’m trying to instill within myself the kind of delusional confidence that made this middle aged, drunk, homeless, white man say “if I were the manager, I would have had this [National cyber attack] fixed by now. It just takes a little bit of competency and enough drive.”
I hate when there are people driving behind me. Like excuse me? I’m trying to drive slowly and safely so I can sing this song with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm.
I just wanna be rich enough to send sad people money. It won’t fix their problems but it’ll make them $50 happier. Ya feel?
Got another speeding ticket but tbh I deserved it. I was 100% most definitely speeding.
*runs 3 miles & does the circuit* *eats half a box of granola cereal* It’s called balance?? 🤷🏽♀️
I only started acting again so you guys wouldn't feel like you wasted money on the posters of me at 12.
About to go in to the gym but then you see someone you know & you're like "now I have to wait in my car for another 10 mins to avoid them"
I'm not a praying lady, but I have prayed 4/4 days this week that the Lord keeps me from losing my sh*t.
im the worst to go shopping with cuz i will talk you into buying everything 😂
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