FPL Ruined My Life
@FPLRuin
Remember when life was simple and you could just captain Suarez and go on about your day.
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How my #FPL season will unfold: ⬇️ Start shit, do loads of transfers ⬇️ Do even shitter as players I rage-transferred pick up form ➡️ Do loads more transfers. Keep same level of shitness for a while ➡️ Faff around going nowhere ⬆️ Nail it with about 3 games left
Grealish: “It was me. Crashed a car full of ‘rona prozzies into the training ground. Not sorry.”
Me: My team looks good on paper. FPL gods: Half of your players will get Covid or get benched. Me: WHAT? FPL gods: Stop acting surprised, this happens all the time. Me: Yeah, sigh. Oh well, Happy New Year. FPL gods: Fuck you.
My #FPL achievement of the week: - put in City defender for “guaranteed” clean sheet - that defender scores the own goal to wipe out that clean sheet (thanks Dias) - the player I take out for Dias, gets a clean sheet FUCK YOU FPL
Premier League announcement: “West Brom have just activated the automatic relegation clause, triggered if Christian Benteke manages to score more than once against you.”
Vaccine approved inject it 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉
When someone refuses to let me see their FPL team after I ask them.
My FPL strategy over the last 5 weeks, which I will be continuing this week: “Foden has to play at some point, right?”
Me: hmmm one of my players isn’t playing. Wonder who my first sub is... Brain: your subs are shit. Your team is shit. Your ranking is shit. You have no hope. Why do you care? Me: oh yeah
6 weeks in, here comes the FPL Regret Train 🚂 Who's the biggest bastard so far: Sterling - Alpha Troll Werner - wow 2 goals 👏 Willian - 3 assists then 💩 TAA - less pts than ORIOL ROMEU Mitrovic - bargain 💩 KDB - You heard me Lamptey - fooled us all Martial - 1pt/game 🙌
Remembering Khun Vichai and the four others who lost their lives two years ago today 💙
West Brom Vs Burnley, the game that simply screams SKY SPORTS BOX OFFICE.
Unlucky Leicester. I mean, you brought Islam Slimani on. There’s nothing more you could have done.
Donny van de Beek reading team sheet, with him on bench while Mata, James, Fred and McTominay all start.
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