Fake Joe Moore
@FakeJoeMoore
I'm not the real KHON2 News anchor Joe Moore, but I play him on television. Parody account.
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Did you know… One of the consequences of the growth of social media has been an explosion of hippo-related violence around the world.
Did you know… the second radio broadcast in history was a commercial for farm implement sharpening voiced by a very young Jack Benny.
Did you know… In 1904, William “Sweet Willy” McKiernan became the first American ever cited for duck hunting from his car without a license.
Did you know… other acceptable uses for orange marmalade include fever reducer, window cleaner and modeling adhesive.
Did you know… historians generally consider William Howard Taft the first American president to eat nachos while soaking in the bathtub.
Did you know… the first known john to ask a prostitute for a “half and half” was Buford “Iron Trousers” Jones of Ithaca, New York in 1879.
Did you know… that among his many accomplishments in politics and statecraft, Henry Cabot Lodge also coined the phrase "huffing glue."
Have you ever noticed... Pickpocketing a cop can be easy, assuming that he's distracted. And asleep. And made of a hard, waxy substance.
Have you ever noticed...walking in public in your underwear while talking to a rubber duck is a cheap and easy way to achieve fame in life.
Have you ever noticed...people who want us to "save the whales" rarely take into account how much space they would require in a home.
Have you ever noticed...those purple things with red eyes and long claws that live in my shed often have really smart home decorating tips.
Have you ever noticed... That Carrot Top and Martha Stewart are never seen together?
Have you ever noticed...most of the so-called 'crack whores' are actually addicted to crystal meth or heroin or, in rare cases, Clorox.
Have you ever noticed...you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and way, way more with a rotting body than honey.
Have you ever noticed...even though you may be quietly reading in a library, the cops will still arrest you if you're not wearing pants.
Have you ever noticed...the grass is always greener over that spot in the backyard where those guys buried that thing in the rug last night.
Have you ever noticed...the ladies are more apt to disrobe for you if you say nice things to them like 'hello' & 'I will not murder you.'
Have you ever noticed...a great way to have fun is to walk up to random women in hotel bars and ask them for their hourly rates.
![PulseHNL's profile picture. Content producer and liquor columnist at the Honolulu @StarAdvertiser. Updates are my own. Email me: jason [at] staradvertiser [dot] com. Aloha!](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/715527218798047233/GZSejn35.jpg)
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