Tony Court
@FakeMayorTC
I may whistle on the court. But most people whistle at “The Mayor” Court. Not the real Mayor Tony Court. Just a parody.
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Hope everyone had a great 4th of July yesterday. I was down by the park looking for any woman wearing red undergarments. Cause this white boy had a pocket full of blues. #RedWhiteAndScrewYa #MEGAMayor
Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Was helping prepare for the festival, and when I mean prepare. I mean watching the ladies at Holy Redeemer cut the pepperoni for the puffs. If only they were fondling a different stick. #MEGAMayor
Hopefully nobody forgot about their favorite Mayor!! With all the craziness on the courts this season I almost forgot to tweet all of my fans. #Humble #MEGAMayor
Remember ladies! Christmas is coming up and don’t forget to come sit on your favorite Santa’s lap! Rudolph’s nose won’t be the only red thing on Santa’s sleigh!! -AJC #MEGAMayor
Happy Thanksgiving, my citizens. I keep dunking my turkey leg in my hot cousin’s drink. Workin that tryptophan like I’m Bill Cosby. Remember to be thankful for all God’s blessings. Especially-ME! -AJC #MEGAMayor
Proud to be THE speaker at Veterans Day event. It is an honor as I relive the horrors I faced when I served. The bitter cold that December afternoon when I rang the bell for the Salvation Army. -AJC #MEGAmayor
Hitting the door bell in the middle of the night on old people in my condo who put me in their wills. Strike the Heisman pose before running away. -AJC #MEGAmayor.
These hair plugs are driving me crazy. Haven’t itched this much since my sexcapade in the police station. -AJC #MEGAmayor
Would like to remind all. Since elected Mayor, we have had no hurricanes. ZERO! I have single-handedly protected the good citizens. U R welcome my people. -AJC #MEGAmayor. #toughonhurricanes
Deep thinking lately. Of all my great qualities, which there are many, one my greatest is humility.-AJC #MEGAmayor #ilovemewhodoyoulove The Mayor would like to thank the intelligent person who posted the photo on Facebook...wait, it was me...I’m welcome.
Been to more Oktoberfests than council meetings. Wearing my “60nein” shirt 4 hugs and jugs all day. #cocktoberfest -AJC. #MEGAmayor
Awesome birthday for the Mayor. Woke up with morning wood harder than Chinese algebra. Binge-watched Victoria Secrets Christmas Shows. Flipped thru my autobiographical men’s softball scrapbook. Now, waiting for a special lady to come blow out my “candle.” -AJC #MEGAmayor
Happy Fall! Frost on the pumpkin-Time for Dickey Dunkin! -AJC #MEGAmayor
Been cutting the fronts out of all my Nike underwear. Nothing to do with Kaepernick. #justdoit -AJC #MEGAmayor.
Dear Citizens, Have a safe Labor Day Holiday! If someone never worked a day in their life, do they still get to celebrate “Labor Day?”- Asking for a friend. -AJC #MEGAmayor
PSA- Officiating games this weekend, chased a bowl of Wendy’s chili with a Fiber One Bar. Had to change shorts and courts!!! -AJC. #MEGAmayor.
Call to arms good citizens of Ellwood!!! We are being invaded. The enemy has employed large yellow vehicles filled with angry children. ‘til death I will defend. -AJC. #MEGAmayor
Higher than an Ellwood electric bill and harder than a Jodi Christophe chem test. Feeling good in the Wood!-AJC. #MEGAmayor
Finished with a 69 last night on #9 tee at Delmar and never took the clubs out of the car. Tiger Woods isn’t the only one whoring and scoring.-AJC. #MEGAmayor
News flash: Trust me ladies, Loccisano’s does NOT have the best Italian sausage in town-if you know what I mean. HMU, chikas! -AJC. #MEGAmayor.
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