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The Comedian

@Fake_Comedy

I funny person

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Follow, Retweet, and favorite for a shoutout.


The Comedian reposted

I believe that scene in I am Legend where Will Smiths dog dies is more emotional than all the Twilight movies put together.


The Comedian reposted

I'm on a 90-day diet so far I've lost 45 days


The higher a mokey climbs the more of his ass you see!


Just saw a doctor eating an apple. My whole life is a lie.


Happy Hump Day ..didn't know it was the day everyone tries to fuck you in the ass!


The Comedian reposted

Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person says: "hi"..RT if you hate this.


I tried to contain myself but I escaped


That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy


When a girls says "if you can't handle me at my worst" it means "I'm a fucking psycho"


Warning: jumping in toxic waste does not give you superpowers


Oh christmas tree Oh christmas tree you fell on top of me, you broke my arm you killed my cat, you gave my dog a heart attack


The thing about crazy people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people


I'm gonna shove my sunshine so far up your ass... that your eyes will look like giant disco balls


There are 3 kinds of people: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder, what the hell just happened


It takes patience to listen....it takes skill to pretend your listening


The Comedian reposted

The food channel is like porn for your stomach.


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