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Video: We are super excited to have Candy Lawrence is our guest standup tonight at Hump Night!... tmblr.co/ZyL3NqyQURVp
My twitter account was hacked. Disregard my tweets regarding financial opportunities. I don't have money and have no idea how to acquire it
Tonight I am a big cuddly polar bear. I ate a seal before tech. Method acting!
Wish I could watch Dr. Phil today. I don't think I've EVER said that before.
Am none to impressed with standard of cleanliness at Empire Chinese. Love stoic cashier who tries to be polite, but just can't help herself.
I'm still figuring out how to use Tweet. Is it for breaking news? Like: I didn't eat breakfast this morning. Dipping into desk candy stash.
Instead of staying out drinking with friends, I come home, binge on McDonald's and watch the Forensic Files. I wish I was sad about this.
![ChUComedy's profile picture. Indie comedy show every Tuesday at 9pm! Always $5! / Always [FUN.] / RTing Chicago's Funniest!](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/682036728094416896/JB_DPSu6.jpg)
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