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David Sandora

@FatScrap

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Just took a leak between a leather-clad biker and a rabbi. Maybe Central Pa. is pretty diverse after all...


Only thing whiter than a Klan rally: A Garth Brooks concert in Pittsburgh.


Her: Don't put the pizza on the seat, it will leak. Put it on your lap. Me: Of course. I love having a singed dick and sterilizing my sperm.


Know how some foods you hated as a kid you end up loving as an adult? Not Robitussin.


The difference between liberals and conservatives: After lost elections, one threatens to move to Canada, the other threatens to secede.


From the Reality TV dictionary: PATRONIZE - To glaze with tequila. #wowtvisdumb


To become a comic, I must first develop a joke about Monopoly.


Heading to doctor. Twitter tells me I am similar to AIDS.gov.


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