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Just took a leak between a leather-clad biker and a rabbi. Maybe Central Pa. is pretty diverse after all...
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Only thing whiter than a Klan rally: A Garth Brooks concert in Pittsburgh.
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Her: Don't put the pizza on the seat, it will leak. Put it on your lap. Me: Of course. I love having a singed dick and sterilizing my sperm.
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Know how some foods you hated as a kid you end up loving as an adult? Not Robitussin.
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The difference between liberals and conservatives: After lost elections, one threatens to move to Canada, the other threatens to secede.
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To become a comic, I must first develop a joke about Monopoly.
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