Filthy Phil Kessel
@FilthyPhil81
Eight million dollar man, Chara Slayer, Toronto's favourite American #LeafsNation *Parody Account*
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Randy Bo-Bandy told me the scouting report on Flames goalies: They ain't got fuckin any.
Flames might as well pack it in since uncle Phil is coming to light 'em up tonight.
Let's get Filthy Phil some RTs and Follows since I'm fuckin tearin it up ehhh?
Who's Richard Bachman? Just the guy that will have deal with my snapshot all night.
Fuck we don't need Vanek anyway, uncle Phil gotcha covered.
Do I look like I fuckin need ankle shit to protect me? When I touch the biscuit it's goin to the back of the net.
Who's excited for some fuckin hockey tamorrow.
Woah fuck sorry, 2nd Star, it's hard to fuckin type when I'm doin Karlsson's wife.
Hear that. Uncle Phil is your third star of the week. I know I'm fuckin #1 in your heart though #LeafsNation
Fuckin Chiarelli texting me up wanting me to come back to Beantown, fuck that have fun with that Dougie fucker.
Rise and Shine campers, time to work on my clapper.
Let's get Uncle Phil up to 100 tanight. Pack some dips and lets fuckin go.
“@FuckingHenrik30: @CellyHard Never steal your bros empty netter” Fuckin right, takin notes from Phil
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