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I'm currently crying and contemplating sacrificing a stuffed animal to the great lord Cthulhu so that my Xbox will work again.
me on Valentine's day
Girl: Babe come over. Guy: I can't, I'm at bible study. Girl: But I'm home alone. Guy: What are you scared or something? I can pray for you.
All these 50 Shades of Grey tweets got me like:
Someone just said my 'addiction' to Taco Bell needs professional help. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. #TacoBellIsBae
I just witnessed multiple super obvious drug deals in Chili's.. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
People who have iPhones but don't turn on their send read receipts are terrible people.
Only giant cunts steal the comfy side when you're eating out somewhere. @escapedahfate
"They're nice and firm now." "Just like Kayla's dick." @kaylabranflake @austinmiller_97
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