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this is literally how the Planet of the Apes started, and given recent events, thank God. I for one welcome our new leader, Caesar. Ape Together Strong
40 monkeys escaped from a research facility in South Carolina on Wednesday night. A police search is underway and residents have been advised to keep doors and windows secured.
I know the press girls at Sunset Blvd just threw a hood over Nicole’s head, threw her in an SUV, and she woke up in a padded room with the notes app open
I unlocked $33 Rush tickets for Walden on @TodayTix! todaytix.com/nyc/shows/4202…
whats the funniest scene in film/tv show? like the one you can watch hundreds of times and still laugh about it
I am a loyal AMC A-List member, but drinking a fountain Diet Coke out of this would heal me.
my main thought on JD Vance is that he would be easily outsmarted by Bugs Bunny
I am so glad everything is broken at work today so I could make this
Caitlyn Clark is as good as people think she is. But the ladies in the wnba are way better than what people think they are.
Why u telling us? Ur literally the president
No one should be jailed for simply using or possessing marijuana.
Im not going to lie. iCarly was right, live life, breathe air, i know somehow we’re gonna get there
i don't feel very good about myself hitting send on this tweet honestly
Julia Louis-Dreyfus seemed to be not PC and hilarious just fine.
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people." “It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”…
let’s all go stand around together at 2pm tomorrow, too. that was fun
eclipse this, eclipse that — how about you watch one of the 135 clips i DMed you while you were at work
You see a massive gambling debt, I see an upcoming residency… a very, very long residency ✨
i’m not “bed rotting” i am cocooning. when i emerge i will be better and more beautiful than before
If you had your first kiss in a school play you’re entitled to another stimulus check
I entered the Merrily We Roll Along Lottery for $39 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/nyc/shows/2741…
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