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Boggles my brain that there is actual petitions to bring back McDonald’s straws instead of the paper ones. As if people are more arsed about how they drink their fucking milkshake than marine wildlife 🤬🤬🤬
Few people asking why I haven’t responded to this tweet, but I’ve never been one to kick a man when he’s down 😉...
Dear rangers & zookeepers, The next time some div climbs into the enclosure of a dangerous animal, don’t shoot the dangerous animal for being a dangerous animal, shoot the div for being a fucking div.
How to deal with #heatwave: Unbutton jacket Look pained Moan about it Occasionally look at sky & shake head Remember it'll rain again soon
No wonder empire were selling orange Bulmers for 2 quid last night, absolutely rats
Told mum that my original penguin t shirt was made by the same people that make the biscuits and she believed me straight away 😂
Massive game tonight - Boro v Brentford live with @SimonThomasSky and all from 730pm Sky Sports 1. Can't wait. #PlayOffs #FL72
Phil neville should never be a pundit. He hardly speaks and when he does he states the bloody obvious
Seeing some radged fans coming back from the Newcastle game ahaha
Mum talks to taxi drivers like theyve been friends for years
My flatmate is genuinely having a bag of lettuce and some grapes for his tea because he 'doesn't trust himself at cooking' the whopper
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