FreshStandUp's profile picture. WARNING: ** Content likely to OFFEND ** All that's great in Stand Up - follow us for insider gossip and news on top Comedy.

Fresh Stand Up

@FreshStandUp

WARNING: ** Content likely to OFFEND ** All that's great in Stand Up - follow us for insider gossip and news on top Comedy.

My GP told me to go on the Mediterranean diet as my cholesterol levels are a bit high.I don't ... bit.ly/1WaVIRz via @sickipedia


My girlfriend came back from the shops earlier. "I've got milk, flour, eggs, sugar and lemons"... bit.ly/1RlZXdT via @sickipedia


As Mrs Murray gives birth to another baby, a boy, the nurse said,"He's going to be just like h... bit.ly/1WaVIkC via @sickipedia


What do my iPhone and sex life have in common?Selfie! bit.ly/1WaEmnT via @sickipedia


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were chatting about their children.The Englishman sa... bit.ly/1WaEmUY via @sickipedia


Congratulations to Andy Murray who has become a Dad.Although to be fair it's probably Djokovic's! bit.ly/1T3jTBW via @sickipedia


It's 'Pancake day' ...or as I like to call it.'Female jogger day'. bit.ly/1T35BRW via @sickipedia


First World War Tommies used to say that the bullet that will kill you, has got your name on i... bit.ly/1WaoS3f via @sickipedia


A swastika has been gratified on Donald Trump's Hollywood star. I can't figure out if it was d... bit.ly/1T35BRO via @sickipedia


This african guy had darriorhea he thought he was melting bit.ly/1Wa3YkK via @sickipedia


I said to a guy at work, "My son came first in a story writing competition for under 7s at sch... bit.ly/1Wa3Vpg via @sickipedia


Due to the recent train crash at the German town of Bad Aibling, authorities are to rename it ... bit.ly/1LdsbB0 via @sickipedia


I think Andy Murray might have some black ancestry somewhere in his genepool. Just seen an int... bit.ly/20Hyqtb via @sickipedia


My ginger mate was in a hideous car crash and was so traumatised he developed alopecia and all... bit.ly/1W9tqXG via @sickipedia


Traditional family logic 101: Mom: "You know sweetheart, it's important to think about these t... bit.ly/1T2kbsN via @sickipedia


It's Pancake day today, one of my favourite days of the year.Or Pan day as it's known in Ethiopia. bit.ly/1RkqnMS via @sickipedia


my little lad is doing his homework and says "am Stuck" i said come on then "whats the questio... bit.ly/1Rkqqs2 via @sickipedia


It's funny when you remember that Frank Ocean came out before his second album did. bit.ly/1W8HMYc via @sickipedia


I used to enjoy watching a lot of porn every day. One day, a feminist friend of mine said, "Po... bit.ly/1W8HOPT via @sickipedia


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