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When the cats are away, the mice get laid #parentsineurope #stealyourgirl
Blaze, rage, get paid...repeat #howidoesit #onlyway #keepup
God only made micropenises to punish frat stars who fratted too hard in former lives. Sorry for beatin' da pussy right
Call me morbid, but if I'm going to be the first person to die of something, I want a fucking disease named after me too #fuckhashtags
Bitch said she had allergies so I gave her some Claritin-D
So sad I munched last night. And it was hairy to boot #heardaboutit #cmonkid
It's not a good idea to question a girl if she tells you she's a virgin.
An old man once said,"you are what you eat." I am definitely not a pussy.
What can you catch, but not throw?.....(answer in next tweet)
❤️ U Veronica Vaughn. I'll just keep imagining all of the freaky shit we could've done.
I double texted the other day. Not my MO, but she was 30 and a school teacher. 1st time my hearts been broken. I'm 22. #veronicavaughn
I boofed once and told my dad. He asked what is a boof. And I said it's john Wilkes...
I really want to be back in your life...manslation: I'm pretty horny, we should fuck tn.
I'm a hopeless romantic. I have no hope that romance will add any value to my life #ButiPa
I've been on "to catch a predator" three times. What fratstar says no to an 18 year old? Dad got me out of all charges obviously.
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