Innocent Bystander
@FunObservations
I will change your outlook on life in 140 characters or less.
That moment that you realize you have more superhero, cartoon, and video game t-shirts and hats than most 9-year olds.
People who tell me to follow all these other people take all of the fun out of twitter.
OMG you're in a band & think you're 1-of-a-kind because you draw depressing pictures and don't appreciate our country? You're all the same.
I heard once that the turnout of people at your funeral depends on the weather. A depressing thought indeed.
#OnlyUglyPeople base their ego entirely on their muscle cars.
That moment when you wake up from an afternoon nap at 7:00 PM and start panicking and getting ready for school
“gon watch sum horor moviez yo txt mi vibratin pussi” Excuse me, is this poor thing's interpreter here? I can't understand what's wrong...
I love @Its_Stewie, we can all relate to that sarcastic #BabyAssassin in us that wants to kill some bitch.
Funny how boys only want women when it's too late. #Karmasabitch
#ThatAwkwardMoment when you don't recognize anything that's trending.
Poetry isn't about rhymes, and not even all about rhythm. It's about using words in a new way, to express subtle feeling unlike a narrative.
Thomas Jefferson invented the coat hanger. #Snapple
Sometimes it is so much easier to lie to yourself than to accept reality.
Don't lower people's expectations of you just because you are too lazy to meet their current ones.
We make time to do the stuff we love. (Twitter, for example.)
One thing that is an unexpected turn-on for most girls: good hygiene. If you smell good, we love it. So brush ur teeth & wash ur hair :3
Dear Ketchup, Why do you steal all of my customers? Sincerely, Mustard
I'm still new to life. So how come I sometimes feel more experienced than the seasoned elders?
United States Trends
- 1. #WWERaw 62.5K posts
- 2. Packers 45.7K posts
- 3. John Cena 63.4K posts
- 4. Eagles 70.4K posts
- 5. Jalen 15.4K posts
- 6. #GoPackGo 4,848 posts
- 7. #RawOnNetflix 1,583 posts
- 8. Grand Slam Champion 17.7K posts
- 9. Jordan Love 3,881 posts
- 10. Matt LaFleur 1,011 posts
- 11. Green Bay 11K posts
- 12. Rusev 2,675 posts
- 13. Cade Horton 1,199 posts
- 14. Tush Push 10.6K posts
- 15. Kevin Patullo N/A
- 16. Shipley N/A
- 17. #MondayNightFootball N/A
- 18. Dirty Dom 1,642 posts
- 19. Drake Baldwin 5,589 posts
- 20. Go Birds 17.7K posts
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.