"hey do you remember that time when.." *mom walks in* "nevermind i'll tell you later."
COOL STORY BRO. My favorite part was when you stopped talking.
The awkward moment when you accept a compliment that wasn't meant for you.
Feeling like a stripper when you take off your clothes to get in the pool.
Splashing water on your face like the commercials and failing epically.
That mini heart attack you get when you don't feel your phone in your pocket
Cocaine dealers are always sticking their business in other people's noses.
I hate when people look at my screen when I’m on the computer or texting.
"Tweeting" is way more fun than saying "Updating my Facebook Status".
Waking up and looking in the mirror and thinking who the hell raped my hair?
If you want to cry, use a tissue... not your Facebook status.
That awkward moment when your friends say something bad in front of your parents.
I wish I could "like" text messages that way I don't look like such a douchebag when I don't reply back.
Twinkle twinkle, little whore, close your legs they're not a door
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