Ben 'DryBean' Monkfish
@GrumpyMuso
The UK's most in demand session Maraca professional. Current Maraca mix 60 / 40 dried butter beans (cook at 182° for 18 mins) & uncooked brown organic rice
Funny how the people behind this show are called Re:Imagine when literally zero imagination has been involved #baitshit
Musicians! Want to progress your career?? Take a photo of yourself next to a mixing desk and say ‘new music coming soon’ you don’t even have to follow it up with a release... but it will remind your social media contacts that you exist and you’ll get some gigs from it for sure
@SheilaEdrummer from one top session pro to another... are you ever concerned about ethical & moral issues regarding the Maracas? My heart wants to find a zero-plastic vegan Maraca. But they all sound so terrible, no bite or warmth. Such a dilemma #sessionpro #topukmaracapro
If you arrive at your gig and see this sound system. Turn around, delete the bookers number from your phone and burn down the venue just to be on the safe side #campaignagainsteartorture
Handful of spaces available on my “Hand Painted Hand Percussion” workshop eventbrite.com/drybeanspercsh… trust me, nothing beats the feeling of holding your own instrument in your hand and shaking it back and forth in perfect rhythm #maracapro #eventprofs
in case it helps @British_Airways track down my lost Maracas they have a Calabash head w/ a beautiful blend (40/30/30) of sand, seeds & dried red beans (174° cook for 22mins), lovely soft sound. shake it gently and you'll feel a deep sense of calm.should be instantly recognisable
stayed up all night doing gak with a music exec. spent most of the time slagging off the techs for doing to much gear during the tour. fucking unprofessional. only special magic music people can behave like bell ends and get away with it guys, leave it to the pros
I get a lot of questions about my Maracas. Might do a reddit AMA session... get really into it, danish wood oils, different dried beans and their acoustic properties, proper & improper gourd shape. Interesting stuff. Whose up for it?
Sometimes get jealous playing in my funk band. Every other fucker gets a 10 minute solo and the audience love it, 5 minutes into my Maraca solo and the cock wombles are flinging rotten produce at me. Maybe I should have got grade 8 cowbell instead?? Too late to retrain now
Absolutely hate having to scramble for work in the group Facebook chat, then it turns out it’s playing ‘bongos’ with a ‘DJ’ and they want to see my ‘promo’. Humiliating! it’s like my Grade 8 Maracas certificate means nothing to them. Pricks. #imbetterthanthisshit #eventprofs
Before inflicting your ‘original’ music on the world maybe have a think about havin a massive self-love session while staring at yourself in a mirror instead. it’ll be a little less self-involved and you’ll save us all some hassle #noidontwanttocontributetoyourfuckingkickstarter
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