Captain Buzzkill RN
@GrumpyXMatelot
Left leaning grumpy old Matelot, Geek, WWFC STH, potty mouth, beer, bacon & dogs. Not as young, cool, good looking or funny as I think I am #TwitterHugger
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Girlfriends come with a lifetime supply of whine
Boyfriends should come with a lifetime supply of wine
"When Captain Webb the Dawley man, Came swimming along the old canal That carried the bricks to Lawley." A Shropshire Lad by Betjeman #BOTD in 1848 Captain Matthew Webb in Dawley, Shropshire. He was the first person to swim the English Channel without the use of artificial aids.
When will the by-election be @Nigel_Farage and @RobertJenrick?
Overheard: "It took four blocks and five years to go from kneeling on a black man's neck to shooting a white woman in the face"
In the services this is called "embracing the suck." We'd moan and bitch but get it done
I'm back and I'm getting fat again. 4lb on over Christmas, and nearly a stone since September. I'll be boring you all between now and Easter as I try to lose it (yet) again
Like clockwork.
BREAKING: Man Utd have reached a verbal agreement with Ruben Amorim to ruin his promising career in under 3 years.
Excellent bit of journalism to avoid mentioning that there are now 12 more private schools than there were in 2024.
I don’t remember Tommy Ten Names hammering this lot. Wrong colour?
Using a mocap suit to kick yourself in the balls with a robot is a great metaphor to close out 2025.
I switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
BEST. RESPONSE. EVER. 😂
Merry Christmas to all, including the Radical Left Scum that is doing everything possible to destroy our Country, but are failing badly. We no longer have Open Borders, Men in Women’s Sports, Transgender for Everyone, or Weak Law Enforcement. What we do have is a Record Stock…
Popped into the local shop for an emergency bottle of vodka (bad planning by the GF,) and was given a plate of food
Fun fact: If Chase Demoor had been fighting any other human being, alive or dead, that punch would've landed on their chin.
United States Trends
- 1. Arsenal N/A
- 2. Carrick N/A
- 3. Cunha N/A
- 4. Arteta N/A
- 5. #ARSMUN N/A
- 6. Manchester United N/A
- 7. Pretti N/A
- 8. Amorim N/A
- 9. Dorgu N/A
- 10. #MUFC N/A
- 11. Odegaard N/A
- 12. Laken Riley N/A
- 13. Kyle Rittenhouse N/A
- 14. #GGMU N/A
- 15. Man U N/A
- 16. $GHOST N/A
- 17. Emirates N/A
- 18. Gannon N/A
- 19. Go Broncos N/A
- 20. Saka N/A
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