HowLissaTweets's profile picture. Well hello tall, spotted and weirdsome.

Lissa

@HowLissaTweets

Well hello tall, spotted and weirdsome.

When your architect used metric.

HowLissaTweets's tweet image. When your architect used metric.

Sure I'll help you out. Where did you come in from?


If you could turn off depression tweets, I'd have to make decisions on a day-to-day basis.


I bet none of you can't imitate my voicemail message as well as I do when I accidentally answer.


How long can you be right on the verge of sneezing? I think I'm on day six now.


[me talking to kids] So what do you wanna be when you give up?


"I find your lack of faith disturbing"


If you're right all the time it must be comforting to know there's always someone left out there to prove wrong.


When did the internet become all about telling me I've done everything wrong all my life?


The world's tallest mermaid.

HowLissaTweets's tweet image. The world's tallest mermaid.

On a scale of one to ten, who the hell is this Kanye?


You know when you're at the stage when you just stare into the screen and circle the pointer around? You do? Well, that's comforting.


Deinfe "obsolete".

HowLissaTweets's tweet image. Deinfe "obsolete".

Sarah Palin must have just assumed we'd already tweeted everything we can possibly tweet about her a long time ago. She was wrong.


*shrugs* Sure, I'd sell it too.

HowLissaTweets's tweet image. *shrugs*

Sure, I'd sell it too.

Hold it right there. You need to fill out this eye contact form first.


I got Uber on my phone now. Guess you could say I'm a bit of a prepper.


Sometimes it's a little frustrating that "How come you're overweight when you're vegan?" is not considered polite conversation.


This means you should get to drive when you're three, right?

HowLissaTweets's tweet image. This means you should get to drive when you're three, right?

Words have a way with you.


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