Short king hack: I’m 4’11”, so I just wail like a baby and suddenly I’m cradled with a front-row seat to the snack bar. Boobs? Secured. Chaos? Unleashed.
Has anyone actually met this mythical "short king" we hear stories about? All the short men I've worked with talked about being small with a good natured contempt at best. I'm not saying they're bad people for that but I've never met one who was excited to be a "pocket person"
Sitting across from a beautiful woman at the bar and having the bartender hand her a crudely drawn picture of a stepladder on a cocktail napkin and having him say "The Littlest Hobo wishes to make your acquaintance"
Whispering "your short jokes just stopped being funny" into his ear before I snap his neck so loudly everyone on the train pukes.
Hell hath no fury like a short person asked "How's the weather down there?"
Every time I'm in a crowded place like a concert or a busy street I think 'Man wouldn't it be crazy if I was suddenly just really tall and could see over everyone' and not only does that not happen but I have to shuffle around people or just stare at the backs of their knees.
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