Jewish Humor
@HumorJewish
Jewish humor - funny jewish jokes and one liners - RT if it makes you laugh :D
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The bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said "Lady I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.
Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.
Jewish Proverb: Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
I dislike Moses. He took us 40 years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose somebody else for a change?
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."
When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
When the doctor called Mrs. Liebermann to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Controversy: When does life begin? In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
"The shrink told me I got an Oedipus complex, Mom" - "That's okay, son. No worries. As long as you love your mother..."
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change light-bulb? A: None: "It's okay, I will sit here in the dark..."
"Humor is just another defense against the universe." ~Mel Brooks
Q: What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? A: "Pardon me ladies, but is ANYTHING all right?"
United States Tendances
- 1. FINALLY DID IT N/A
- 2. The VIRTUALS PROTOCOL N/A
- 3. The SPX6900 N/A
- 4. #FanCashDropPromotion N/A
- 5. Ryan Wedding N/A
- 6. The Paxos Global N/A
- 7. Good Friday N/A
- 8. #FridayVibes N/A
- 9. JS AVOCEAN FAM SIGN N/A
- 10. #สนามอ่านเล่น2026xJimmySea N/A
- 11. #FursuitFriday N/A
- 12. 1.3 SOL N/A
- 13. The ONDO N/A
- 14. Pettine N/A
- 15. Happy Friyay N/A
- 16. Autopilot N/A
- 17. The REKT N/A
- 18. Ari Lennox N/A
- 19. Uncle Floyd N/A
- 20. #23Ene N/A
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