Investor Relations
@IRshit
Fly on the wall in Investor Relations tweeting office talk. Putting the hit back into shit.
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OH: Well they attached electric nodes onto my earlobes, gave me a jolt, and then all I heard was the sound of water.
OH: I couldn't figure out a math equation if my life depended on it. I went to business school for chrissake.
[watching a video] Y: He looks so bizarre. I can't get over how bizarre he looks. X: They all look like that. Go to New York, you'll see.
D: So Y., when are you gonna get married? Y: Is it legal for you to ask me that question? X: [holds hands up] I did not ask that question.
Y: I think what I mean is if I ever get to your age. I mean um. When um... Oh forget it.
Y: you are the most up to date with new media for anybody I know... for your age. X: That's a back handed compliment if I ever heard one.
Dear people, remember outside? Sincerely the internet
X: Trying to find out how to attach my windsurfing equipment to my truck & can't find anyone to help. It's awful. Y: Your life is so harsh.
x: I don't like this news very much. How are we going to announce it? Y: Not sure; it's hard to make candy out of shit.
X: Can you shoot a video of me talking on the phone? Y: Did you bring another shirt?
R: You've actually kept your looks pretty well for your age especially considering how the views you hold normally affect face symmetry.
X: Those Trekkees all look the same Y: What do you mean? X: Go to a convention and check it out. Thousands of 'em all look identical.
X: Do you have any idea what the carpet doesn't match the drapes means? Y: No, isn't it about interior design?
X: Can you take the marbles out of your mouth and talk to me, or are you talking normally?
X: I can't hear a word of what you're saying. So whatever you just said, fine.
"He's got many qualities but virtue is not one of them." #trashtalk
"You'll be able to eat for another couple of days. I'll find you wandering around the cat food aisle."
Y: You're staring too hard at that woman. X: It's because I'm not wearing my glasses.
Y: I'm just saying, telling someone you've just met, "You're disgusting," isn't easy to pull off. X: Well, I can usually do it.
Y: I think this guy should redo his logo. X: Why, because it looks like someone made it with crayons?
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