คุณอาจชื่นชอบ
I enjoy sending texts to random numbers saying, "I hid the body... Now what?"
3 out of 4 voices in my head wants me to go to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.
"I need to have 3 baby daddies one with the last names of G, F & L. So i can have kids with the initials of OMG, WTF, and LOL"@ImAngDee
The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.
I'm on so much cold medicine at work, that I just had a panic attack truly believing I had lost my pants. This is going to be one long day.
I've been stuck at an airport for two hours with another two to go. In case you're wondering, I'm the ass laying across five chairs.
If the hunger games were to take place in my office right now, I feel I would have a very good chance of winning.
Washing down sleeping pills with shots of espresso, and yet I wonder why I'm not falling asleep.
When my dates are going bad I stand up and scream, "I'm an actor, they're all actors, those are hidden cameras & you're on Disaster Dates!"
No one is on the road this morning. So I'm doing the cha cha slide with my car. Slide to the left! Slide to the right! Right foot stomp!
Now that I'm able to fly free, it has brought new meaning to the phrase, Five o'clock somewhere.
While you enjoy your chocolates and flowers, I've taken it upon myself to text 'We need to talk. I'm pregnant.' To random numbers nationwide
Whew! Barely got my order in for roses tomorrow. I would have been so pissed at my fake boyfriend if I didn't get any.
Only 997,548 more followers until I hit 1 MILLION! I think I can get that by Friday for sure.
If I throw my dogs ball in some thorny rose bushes, she's less inclined to badger me into playing fetch with her.
Ever notice when the cops show up at a party, everyone turns into Olympic athletes?
On my resume I listed: "Can take my bra off using only my toes" under "Unique Attributes"
Some coworkers just need to be high fived in the face with a chair.
I like to think my boss and I are as close as two people with mutual restraining orders can be.
United States เทรนด์
- 1. #AEWDynamite N/A
- 2. Josh Hubbard N/A
- 3. Acuff N/A
- 4. Arkansas N/A
- 5. Bama N/A
- 6. Darryn Peterson N/A
- 7. Auburn N/A
- 8. #LoveIsBlind N/A
- 9. Swerve N/A
- 10. Swerve N/A
- 11. #Illini N/A
- 12. UConn N/A
- 13. Hangman N/A
- 14. Creighton N/A
- 15. Mizzou N/A
- 16. Doug Shows N/A
- 17. Ewin N/A
- 18. Philon N/A
- 19. #SouthernCharm N/A
- 20. Nigel James N/A
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