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Parody Account

Internal Headteacher

@InternalHead

The internal monologue of a Headteacher - Parody Account

When I go for a run, I enjoy zoning out and getting lost in thought. Recently I’ve been singing a little ditty that spurs me on for a few miles: “Gaaaaav-lar, Gavlar, what a wanker! What a wanker!”


Why do I keep seeing people with facemasks on but with their big hooter sticking out! Do they not realise there’s no point if they don’t cover their nose too!


During SLT socially distanced meeting: (Oh god, I need to cough. It’s okay it’ll go away. S**t. I really need to cough. I’ll cover it with a fart. Totally got away with it). “Can you open that window, Steve”


Governor: How’s it been so far? It’s been very positive overall. The kids have been fantastic. (Absolutely horrendous. I’m completely knackered - running around all day like a blue-arsed fly).


Internal Headteacher reposted

North eat in lock down but not Middlesbrough - who incidentally are playing tomorrow and who’s manager tested positive for COVID!


Internal Headteacher reposted

If you are a parent and feel your school has done a decent job this week trying to keep education rolling then please drop your headteacher a short note of gratitude. It will mean the world, honest.


Parent: They don’t need a test they just have a bit of a cold/cough. Me: A continuous cough? Do they have a temperature? Parent: Well, they’re a bit hot. Me: Check their temp (then check yours - Insert it carefully into your right ear and it should come straight out your left).


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