ItsJoshKeller's profile picture. Welcome to my jabs at life and comedy.

HeyImKeller

@ItsJoshKeller

Welcome to my jabs at life and comedy.

Pinned

If I quote tweet this, can I pin it? Love you too!

This post is unavailable.

Am I an asshole for cursing an old lady with heat stroke, because I held a door open for her, and she didn’t say thanks or even acknowledge I held it for her!?


It’s crazy that at one point, I was doing this for work. Lol

Deep cleaning the grout lines



HeyImKeller reposted

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made) I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours


Hit “required” in words with friends on a triple word for 100+ and my dad started a new game. 😂


I always ranked a butterfinger up there in the top candy bars, I never realized how hated it is. 😂


HeyImKeller reposted

Releasing the two demons (the kittens) from their enclosure to roam the room was a mistake. They climbed the bed and attacked me and @pwincess_shibby all night


We fucked up, @pwincess_shibby We were suppose to nurse these two back to health and keep one, but how can we choose??! 😂

ItsJoshKeller's tweet image. We fucked up, @pwincess_shibby 
We were suppose to nurse these two back to health and keep one, but how can we choose??! 😂

Do people with fucked up cars drive like shit, because their car is already fucked up? Or maybe they always drove that way? Do they have more incentive to drive even more shitty now, with nothing to lose???


I want 2008 Carls Jr or 2001 Burger King… if I go now, I know I’ll just be disappointed.


Think faster, you old fuck or get off the freeway.


“Senor, senor” an old white man calls out to me. “What up, essay.” I reply.


A car cut me off, in my mind I started saying “I hope you die later today…” sees a handicap sign on their plate. “Of complications regarding your disability.” 😂 rip handicap Prius driver.


Yo bitch, don’t park in the middle of the parking lot and block both lanes, and have the audacity to get out see me, get back in your car and then go on your phone for more than 30 seconds. I’ll hit an old lady. Jk, but if she took 45 seconds idk.


This is true, everyone stop buying eggs.

MAGA and QAnon folks are circulating this video claiming Walmart, Eggland’s Best, and Aldi are passing off fake, plastic, rubbery eggs as the real thing. In reality, when eggs are overcooked, the protein toughens and leads to this rubbery result.



Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.