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JL Singer

@JLSinger

Tried to clear the table at a friend's dinner tonight but their trash drawer had a childproof lock. Was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t open it so I just stood there praying no one would notice my silent battle with a toddler level nemesis.


Overheard a guy at the table next to us say he’s gained 40 lbs on Ozempic. Enjoy that French dip brother…


Honestly tried to steal the Apple Store‘s gardener at the Grove today. Not a leaf out of place…


Remember I said it here and now. OpenAI's ChatGPT is the future!


JL Singer reposted

y’all really got mango juul pods banned before AR15s


JL Singer reposted

Google Assistant will be able to make actual phone calls for you


JL Singer reposted

When Albert met Charlie: Einstein: What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you! Chaplin: True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say

NobelPrize's tweet image. When Albert met Charlie:

Einstein: What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!

Chaplin: True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say

JL Singer reposted

"We stood there crying—filming with tears rolling down our cheeks." on.natgeo.com/2AFPHJu


Bitcoin trading halt rn

"Price can't crash it you can't sell." - Coinbase/GDAX



JL Singer reposted

You’ll get whatever the fuck I design and YOU’LL LIKE IT.


Guys I know it’s a part of our identity but I really need this traffic to go away right now.


Going to sleep after getting your iPhonX pre-order confirmation.


JL Singer reposted

Only 8 months into the Trump Presidency we are on the brink of nuclear war and Nazis are in streets of an American city. Seems about right


Distance from Dublin to LA 5,163 miles #MAYMACWORLDTOUR @MayweatherPromo @FloydMayweather sec21 rowGA seat15 VIP lesgooo


When you're so hungry you just type "food" into the Yelp search bar.


If these kids think I'm going to let them find the Afikomen first they got another thing coming #Passover


In crises, the most daring course is often safest. ----Henry Kissinger


Understand the difference between discipline & punishment. Punishment is what you do to someone; discipline is what you do for someone.


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