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Tried to clear the table at a friend's dinner tonight but their trash drawer had a childproof lock. Was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t open it so I just stood there praying no one would notice my silent battle with a toddler level nemesis.
Overheard a guy at the table next to us say he’s gained 40 lbs on Ozempic. Enjoy that French dip brother…
Honestly tried to steal the Apple Store‘s gardener at the Grove today. Not a leaf out of place…
y’all really got mango juul pods banned before AR15s
Google Assistant will be able to make actual phone calls for you
When Albert met Charlie: Einstein: What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you! Chaplin: True. But your glory is even greater! The whole world admires you, even though they don’t understand a word of what you say
"We stood there crying—filming with tears rolling down our cheeks." on.natgeo.com/2AFPHJu
Bitcoin trading halt rn
You’ll get whatever the fuck I design and YOU’LL LIKE IT.
Guys I know it’s a part of our identity but I really need this traffic to go away right now.
Only 8 months into the Trump Presidency we are on the brink of nuclear war and Nazis are in streets of an American city. Seems about right
Distance from Dublin to LA 5,163 miles #MAYMACWORLDTOUR @MayweatherPromo @FloydMayweather sec21 rowGA seat15 VIP lesgooo
When you're so hungry you just type "food" into the Yelp search bar.
If these kids think I'm going to let them find the Afikomen first they got another thing coming #Passover
In crises, the most daring course is often safest. ----Henry Kissinger
Understand the difference between discipline & punishment. Punishment is what you do to someone; discipline is what you do for someone.
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