NicholasCageAgainstTheMachine
@JaceOfBase
Above average cat dad
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Maybe I'm just super high, but the actors in this servesafe training video are killing it
Someone needs to go to jail for this today.com/today/amp/tdna…
today.com
Kraft launches pink mac and cheese for Valentine's Day - TODAY
This magenta mac does not get us in the mood for canoodling.
Fucking legend
Sen. @BernieSanders on his Inauguration Day meme fame: “It makes people aware that we make good mittens in Vermont.”
"Half of congress attempts a coup while the other half considers pennnig a strongly worded letter" cnn.com/2021/01/04/pol…
Things are going great! 😬
Water is joining gold, oil and other commodities traded on Wall Street, highlighting worries that the life-sustaining natural resource may become scarce across more of the world trib.al/lAHKdKZ
How the hell does anyone take baseball seriously? They have not one, but two teams named after socks
Turns out no one's ever tried just calling dibs before 🤷🏻♂️
Is it too late to change my vote to this lady?
Water is joining gold, oil and other commodities traded on Wall Street, highlighting worries that the life-sustaining natural resource may become scarce across more of the world trib.al/lAHKdKZ
"I am the least racist person in this room" is definitely something a non racist person would say
Staring at my computer screen whispering "mute him mute him mute him" to myself till my fucking head explodes
Turns out an old racist getting diagnosed with a life threatening disease was the cure for my depression all along
Well I guess at least he's in amazing shape
It's super weird that some people are just tweeting about normal shit right now
My timeline is glorious shit show right now
The Next Stimulus is Just a Six-Pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a Gun With a Single Bullet in It: ow.ly/aPvq50BAu5k
If 'Viking' was a job title and not a people group, does that mean 1000 years from now Americans will just be known as 'Baristas'?
This shark looks like shit
This is a 393-years old Greenland Shark that was located in the Arctic Ocean. It's been wandering the ocean since 1627. It is the oldest living vertebrate known on the planet. Photo by Julius Nielsen.
The acting Secretary of DHS is named Chad Wolf and I feel like there's a non zero chance Trump nominated him based on that fact alone
Here he is America, your fucking God-King
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