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I don't understand how microwave minutes are longer than snooze alarm minutes.
I can already tell my mid life crisis is going to be the death of me.
I think its the first time these girls have seen a moose based on all the snaps. #ohshit #itsamoose @daleeko @immabeemma @KailynKaiser
We all know a douche bag named Ryan.
@NicoleFuentes_ @TribunaSpider funny you assume I speak Spanish or care enough to Google translate your shit.
@JillianR2014 @FemalePains @MichaeWoofWoolf better buy three then. Cuz I want one too!
Old man just changed the channel off of iron chef Xmas special. #getthehellouttahere
@LeahReuber gotta keep throwing them to un-expecting people #thatswhatido
@JDerrera RIP (birth to this exact moment) Here lies the friendship of Jared and Jacob. #lastwhitechick
@hannahbnan free fallen is literally playing as I'm reading this.... #itsallyou
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