Jake007__'s profile picture. MFW when I... and then I.... and then you....

Jake

@Jake007__

MFW when I... and then I.... and then you....

Fijado

Favorite lunch meat gotta be Slomi 😋


This heart now yearns for a “Best of Oasis” playlist. And of course since I’m still right on everything, I will have to create it. This is how the Great Pyramids were built after all

This heart yearns for a “best of Sabrina Carpenter” playlist. And of course since I’m right on everything, I will have to create it. This is how Rome was built after all



I think my frontal lobe just developed as I realized I’m watching the TikToks where the toilets swing into each other and break while I’m at work and trying to not laugh


I don’t want a mocktail, I want the cock in there


None of those “day in the life” guys ever show “9:24: bang my hot wife” or “11:52: smoke a pack of cigarettes” and yet I’m supposed to want to follow in their footsteps


Do these people just spawn in a dollar general with a phone and greasy hair or do they actually exist like in the real world

Jake007__'s tweet image. Do these people just spawn in a dollar general with a phone and greasy hair or do they actually exist like in the real world

White people be like “my TikTok shop order arrives today! Yeah it’s a gun holster for my poodle-great Dane mix”


Calling a mugger on your unsuspecting friend in gta online gotta be top 3 funniest events of all time


I’ve been wrong twice bro omg

I hope avatar flops just because



What an interesting little vice you have!


I swiped up to get iced up (2 nonillion% polyester btw)

Jake007__'s tweet image. I swiped up to get iced up (2 nonillion% polyester btw)

Nothing funny about tumbleweeds man

Jake007__'s tweet image. Nothing funny about tumbleweeds man

New Big pet peeve of mine is when someone says “oh I love that but I only need like two bites!” Shut up almond they/them we all know you crush entire cheesecakes at home


Just saw an Ad for a $1000 car payment acting like it’s a good deal

Jake007__'s tweet image. Just saw an Ad for a $1000 car payment acting like it’s a good deal

I can’t believe iron man died



Will Byers would’ve DESTROYED 2018 YouTube Rewind omg


Irrational fear of mine is sitting somewhere in public minding my own business and some pred catchers falsely accuse me of trying to meet a kid and it goes viral


Well no I don’t actually thank you very much

Jake007__'s tweet image. Well no I don’t actually thank you very much

You met me at a very Kelly Clarkson period in my life


Does the wicker man count as a Christmas movie? Oh wait now that I think about it that’s like the last thing to be about Christmas


Can X Premium let me change the app icon back to the bird at least


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