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If anyone needs me, I'll be screaming to drown out the sound of being a grown up.
"Forgetting why you've loaded up Google" is the new "Wondering why you've walked into the kitchen".
Can't we Kickstarter a norovirus vaccine? I mean fucking hell science, hurry up. It's twenty fucking twelve you white coated cunts.
Sorry, but I would not let that weirdo change my nappy #15stonebabies
"@AutoBant: Same again next year :) #carfest #CarFestNorth http://t.co/oGBHnj0u" wow gimme that trailer
Lovely to see a plucky island nation pick up a medal. Well done, Australia.
Hedgehog hospital reports increase in admissions after gardening accidents itv.com/news/granada/u… via @itvnews & @croneyITV
#hoarder Sid is actually trapped in what was the lounge surviving on nothing but cat shit and wool
#emmerdale I missed the beginning. Has Ashley raped his Dad or something?
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