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People who get engaged after 4 months of dating is like me decidingI like a pizza before I try it. 1/10 would not do again.
Dropping your phone onto your iPad and breaking them both.. 😍 goals
Welcome to Clinton! Get asked on a date followed by "I only have one meth charge"
*the kids from Stranger Things punch me right in the throat* omg so adorable
When it's okay to talk about having children: your 25th wedding anniversary.
GUYS I HAVE ATE AT ALL OF MY FAVORITE PIZZA PLACES IN 8 HOURS I CAUGHT THEM ALL
Hey! Take relationship advice from me and you will be single until 2137! You'll love it.
My favorite thing to do is drive around and check into bars and check in on touch tunes and play ew by @jimmyfallon
Goth: I don't care about anything Me: there's a bill in Congress that would require all dogs to wear tiny hats Goth: I care about one thing
Chicken and waffle appetizers? 😍😍 I'm wearing cut off leggings as underwear. Oops
I'm on this new diet of sending memes to group chat and drinking coffee every hour on the hour until midnight.
Me-ate pretty healthy all day Also me-ate TWO servings of Crème brûlée for desert after I ate dinner to celebrate eating healthy.
Welcome to Sadness Cafe our specials today include a printout of your bank balance and an online photo of your ex moving on with her life
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