Sir John Chilcot
@JohnnyChilcot
Easily distracted. Writing a big report. CLEARLY A PARODY
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It's good to be busy, and currently I'm working on Boris Johnson's exit plan
An inquiry you say? I can have it finished on Jan 24 2023
Boris Johnson orders ethics inquiry into Rishi Sunak 🚨 independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…
If anyone knows Sue Gray, please pass on my details as I have lots of hints and tips for her
I'd like to offer my services to run an inquiry into the parties in Downing Street last year & can assure everyone I didn't participate in any proscribed festivities. I was supposed to arrange the Annual Inquiry Crew Xmas bash, but never quite got round to it, so I'm clean
Right then, let's get started with this pandemic response plan
Hey @BorisJohnson
PM confirms independent public inquiry, with legal powers, into how the govt handled coronavirus, to start spring 2022
Dear @BorisJohnson, I'm available to lead an Inquiry into the UK government Covid-response at a very reasonable rate
Have I left it too late to get Mrs. Chilcott a Christmas present? Do you think the 24 hour garage will have something?
Wish someone had told me just not bothering to do the report was an option, would have saved me a lot of bother. Well played @DavidDavisMP
Now @DavidDavisMP, about those 58 Brexit Impact Studies I said I'd done for you? Were they urgent?
We can delay no more, I agree we need to tackle the menace of the Bolsheviks (as soon as we have completed a thorough investigation)
I've sponsored an EDM condemning Communism for the murderous ideology that it is, on this 100 years since the Bolshevik Revolution.
Contemplating a job offer making Southern Rail services run in a more punctual and efficient manner
From everyone involved in the Iraq Inquiry we'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy and safe fireworks night
My report 'What Does Brexit Actually Mean' will be released at some point soon(ish)
Oh I think Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddlestone make a wonderful couple. Best of luck to them and their new, blossoming love
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