Jordan
@Johnsonposts
Sluggish, lazy, stupid & unconcerned
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Whole time none of his parlays hitting and you just getting on his nerves.
a nigga acting weird ? another bitch is involved
Rookie numbers
If you bet the under congrats only hit 3.5 before the food coma set in
Dude went through a dangerous surgery just to be built like Mike Wazowski
bro went through a dangerous surgery just to still be short
Capppoo cap 🧢
Call me a hater if you want but she looks exactly the same
Put sleepytime tea in my protein shake and mfs telling me I can’t multitask
For the first time ever.. Arby’s might be on to something with this one
When life gives Arby's steak, and peppers, and onions, and provolone... Arby's makes a cheesesteak.
When is BEREAL gonna update so I can take one of me at the gym
Nahh the accuracy of this is unmatched 😂😂😭
“I’m gonna write that in my notes” only to never look at my notes again
Me to random girl on the phone: You sound hot Her: you sound like a degenerate who needs to get his life together Me: you could not be more right
Astrology girls are looking at gas prices like “$4.44, it’s a sign 🥰 💫” Yeah b*tch, a sign you’re about to go broke
Not possible
PSA: you can have a personality outside of just going to the gym btw
“I feel so awful, but I’m down” is the energy of the day
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