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That's why my parents only let me watch Tom and Jerry. First date with my wife I hit her with a frying pan
Weird. When I went to the butcher this evening to get my 212oz steak, Luigi had tears in his eyes from laughing because he'd been overcharging somebody and gave me my order for free. Then we had M&Ms and everyone clapped.
today I'm thankful Elon Musk didn't buy PornHub
“there’s 2 girls but because of the ravages of socialism, they’re forced to share just 1 cup”
Gouverneur Morris, who wrote the final draft of the constitution, died because he put a whale bone up his dick. I think it's OK to edit the document.
The metaverse is very funny because it’s basically everyone in corporate America being so horny for monetization they forgot to even make the thing they’re trying to monetize first and now they’re just hoping you won’t notice before you throw money at it
Remember, moonshiners were the original defund the police and country music depicts cops getting planted more than any rap genre.
This is not a story about a dog. Civil Asset Forfeiture is evil. These cops are thieves. This reporter is a bootlicker.
High praise for a K-9 officer at Dallas Love Field Airport after more than $100,000 was found in a passenger's luggage. cbsloc.al/3EzSkMW
Forgot Garth Brooks wrote that song about fuckin a Hot MILF in His Area. Real banger. Really ahead of his time.
All you fuckin bootlickers forgot your roots. You wanna know why we started hot rodding stock cars? Because we were running from the cops. You know why we ran from the cop? Cause fuck em
My publicist Terry says I should write proverbs and not complain so much Very well Every door is unlocked if you pay a man from the hardware store to come to your house to tear it from its hinges and defile its innards with his instruments of blue collar destruction
My publicist is on my case about my infrequent use of this infernal website He says engagement is down and so are metrics and something something who cares There I wrote a tweet Are you happy now Terry
Montana man to @TuckerCarlson: “You are the worst human being known to mankind. I want you to know that.” (🎥: danbaileymt on Instagram)
hate vitamins every day, why not one big vitamin once a week, 950,000 mg of Calcium and B69 or whatever Gotta eat the pill like a stupid horse
The young people on TikTok are so annoying it makes me kind of glad Climate Change has robbed them of a future
If someone showed me this pic before the pandemic about the future I would have thought my god they silenced women
Honestly. I think that anyone clicking this wouldn’t have much left to scam after buying magic beans from a hobo for the third time this week.
This thread makes me think maybe...jus maybe....we’re...not..number one??!?
High praise for a K-9 officer at Dallas Love Field Airport after more than $100,000 was found in a passenger's luggage. cbsloc.al/3EzSkMW
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