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Jarimla

@LastDaysofTwit

America’s foremost expert

Jarimla reposted

[wearing retarded soda jerk costume] Just got kicked out of Hollywood for, you guessed it, being white.

ROB SCHNEIDER: “Mark Ruffalo could say whatever he wants against Trump and he'll still get work as an actor. But if an actor like me … dares question the tribe of Democrats, that's it. You're out of Hollywood.”



I’ll have you know that people I know IRL think I’m very funny and say things like “wow, you should be on Saturday Night Live” or “why aren’t you on SNL” or “paging Lorne Michaels: hire this funny guy as not just a featured player but an SNL regular” and they say this stuff daily


Jarimla reposted

absolute bloody disgrace. this person is unfit for society and should be locked away.

mrgracemugabe's tweet image. absolute bloody disgrace. this person is unfit for society and should be locked away.

scissor me timbers


when your grandma with dementia hates Ozzy, you AI a picture of her meeting him


Jarimla reposted

A smile

“Boys wear it daily, but girls wear it once a year. What is it?”



FYP looking more and more like Facebook


Jarimla reposted

well…step outside…look around…if you’re stopped at a signal light, look around…take a good look at those who-like you-have cleared Christmas…if there’s accidental eye contact, exchange the knowing nod…they’ll understand…


Was watching a video of Gordon Ramsay frying something the other day and he said “now we dip it in the most beautiful egg wash,” lmao.


And what I don’t like is if the business is true? That you stole Christmas? Somebody go smoke that yute. You don’t steal it and leave Max nowhere. You have money and you ate the roast beast? Yo, you’re sick to my stomach fam. But if it’s not true? Shorty’s just talking shit.


These assholes post up at every sporting event in our area with their amps turned up to 100. Yelling at you and your family about how you’re going to hell. They don’t create a single believer by doing this. They are baiting for the exact reaction and publicity this post provides.

🚨BREAKING: Dallas PD is under investigation from after ARRESTING Christian preachers on a public sidewalk outside a Mavs game. “My office will be demanding answers from Dallas PD. The 1st amendment must not be violated in Texas." This is NOT the UK. We still have free speech.



Yeah, no, I would love to watch a Zoom interview during the football game @netflix this is such a great idea! Maybe have an AI of a former great who passed away FaceTime in! #OpenForWork #IHaveIdeas


Ate a fistful of crayons and decided this would be a good post.

When you find out the North Pole is trying to bring more bureaucratic overreach & unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as "Christmas cheer." Not on my watch. We The People run Indiana, not the bureaucrats. Take it back to the North Pole big guy. Merry Christmas,…

Sen_ChrisGarten's tweet image. When you find out the North Pole is trying to bring more bureaucratic overreach & unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as "Christmas cheer." Not on my watch. We The People run Indiana, not the bureaucrats.

Take it back to the North Pole big guy. Merry Christmas,…
Sen_ChrisGarten's tweet image. When you find out the North Pole is trying to bring more bureaucratic overreach & unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as "Christmas cheer." Not on my watch. We The People run Indiana, not the bureaucrats.

Take it back to the North Pole big guy. Merry Christmas,…
Sen_ChrisGarten's tweet image. When you find out the North Pole is trying to bring more bureaucratic overreach & unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as "Christmas cheer." Not on my watch. We The People run Indiana, not the bureaucrats.

Take it back to the North Pole big guy. Merry Christmas,…
Sen_ChrisGarten's tweet image. When you find out the North Pole is trying to bring more bureaucratic overreach & unfunded mandates down the chimney disguised as "Christmas cheer." Not on my watch. We The People run Indiana, not the bureaucrats.

Take it back to the North Pole big guy. Merry Christmas,…


Jarimla reposted

this is the first xmas szn in years where i haven't made my signature Grinch Piss cocktail for a party, so here's the recipe for any of y'all: 2 parts off-brand diet mtn dew, 1 part reposado tequila, 1 part classic red bull microwave to body temp merry christmas and enjoy!


Jarimla reposted

But Santa deniers reliably informed me this wasn’t happening this year!

#BREAKING Santa has taken off

Conflict_Radar's tweet image. #BREAKING Santa has taken off


Jarimla reposted

As a white guy i love to travel and learn how other cultures use mayonnaise


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