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Try to say the letter 'N' without your tongue touching the roof of your mouth.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
I get mini heart attacks if I don`t feel my phone in my pocket.
Hey Google............. Why don't you let me finish what I'm typing before you start guessing after one letter.... Little cocky aren't we?
Useless Facts- Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
Useless Facts-Most lipstick is partailly made of fish scales.
Useless Facts- Every time you lick a stamp you gain 1/10 of a calorie.
Useless Facts- Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."
The lesbians next door asked what I would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.
the awkward moment when your watching tv with your parents and polar bears start having sex.
Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Sven Goran Eriksson fired by Leicester city, results just not coming in consistently.
We all have that one weird teacher that's messed up.
The awkward moment where you have to explain to your English teacher what 'beef curtains' are.
It is impossible to lick your elbow. Ps nice look you've got there.
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